Segment City

Segment City Episode 79 - Strippers at a Funeral

Grandpa would have wanted us to put singles into the bra of a stripper dancing on his casket. This week on the podcast, the boys talk about what the best Christmas presents we ever received was, they play a game called “Inhuman Conditions” (https://robots.management/) where one player interviews the other and must decide if the interviewee is a robot or not (featuring Dr. Bozo Fredrickson the Dean of a Clown College and Natas Susej the Cult Leader), Theo looks “In the News”  to find a story about why some Chinese Funerals have strippers, and the boys read chapters 8-10 of “My Immortal” where Draco runs around naked, Snape insults, Voldemort finds Ebony and hands her a gun to kill Vampire Potter, and Ebony has band practice.

Segment City Episode 78 - New Year, Old Goofs

2020 has been tough. Like REALLY tough. But we are getting through it here on Segment City! Thank you to everyone who has been listening and keeping up with us. Here is to a better 2021! 

This week on a New Year's episode of the podcast, Will and Theo recount the best and worst years of our lives, the new Spiderman movie casting choices in order to fit in past Spiderman movies into the continuity, the boys discuss some TV Shows, Movies, and Video Games we are looking forward to in 2021,Theo talks about some of the games he enjoyed playing this past year, and the boys talk about some New Year's Resolutions!

Segment City Episode 77 - Where in the World is Drake Bell?

Drake Bell has a weird career. First he is on the Amanda Show, then he is on Drake and Josh. Then he did a live action Fairly Oddparents thing? Now he is moving to Mexico because he is apparently a pop star there. What a life! This week on the podcast, the boys talk about eating spicy foods and our new coined phrase “Nothing is worse than coming in Second place in a Chili eating contest”, a new set of “Ebay Finds!” featuring a fake cat tongue you put on your own tongue to lick your cat, Will goes over some True Crime with the “West Memphis Three” Case as well as the “Menedez Brothers” and how they weirdly compare and contrast, Theo goes over the life and current times of Drake Bell who recently changed his name to “Drake Campana” and moved to Mexico because apparently he is a star there, and Will goes over the unsolved mystery of the hijacking of a airplane travelling to Seattle by a man going by the name D. B. Cooper. We go over the events of the hijacking, the search for Cooper, and some pertinent details about the case.

Segment City Holiday Special 2020 - Krampus Origins

For this very special holiday episode of Segment City, Theo and Will ask what the point of the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas” is and ask “why are they giving away so many birds?!”, Theo asks if Will would be hunted by an elf on Christmas for a million dollars, Will goes over the (quite frankly sparse” history of Krampus including his supposed origins, appearance, and fun festivities surrounding the hellish creature, they briefly talk about the Syfy movie “Letters to Satan Claus”, Theo and Will fill out the naughty and nice lists with an edition of judging people on r/AmITheAsshole, and lastly, Wil goes into some saucy Christmas Stories in “Amazon Erotica” featuring “A Snowed in Christmas”, “One Night Only 2”, and… others that we don’t want to list the name of because they are nasty.

Segment City Episode 75 - We Goofed It!

Sometimes you need to slam down that Goof em Up Button and say “I goofed it”. On this episode of the podcast, Will and Theo talk about cats pooping in the bed, the Cameo app and how it is a shallow post capitalist nightmare, we dive into the wacky world of eBay with “eBay Finds!” where we look at a strange Boar taxidermy mount and very funny dead mouse, Will talks about some garbage reality TV with “Wacky Interiors” where weird people show off their weird home interiors and “Married at First Sight” where contestants don’t meet the person experts set them up with until they see them walking down the aisle, Theo introduces a new segment called “Weird Al or Eminem” in which he reads a lyric and Will guesses if Weird Al sang it or Eminem did, and Will ends on an “Amazon Erotica” of “His Little Secret” by Jessa Kane about a woman shacking up with her step uncle who just got out of prison.

Segment City Episode 74 - Daaaaddy's Daaaairy!

UwU I loooove to go to Daaaaddy’s Daaaaairy! He makes it fresh :) Oh god, even I hate this character. Let’s never talk about this ever again. This week on the podcast, Will and Theo talk about what animals must think when they see humans running, when the last we drank a glass of milk was, the poorly named ice cream parlor “Daddy’s Dairy”, Will recounts a story of a man who dumped a “Big Pile of Eels” in a New York City lake, Theo takes us into the disturbing government experiments performed in Project MK Ultra, and Will reads the titles of Chuck Tingle’s work including “The State of California Stalks My Gay Bu**hole”, “Pounded By My Handsome Ghost Boats”, “Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers Volume 1” through way too many, and many other stories, some that are weirdly topical and political but we won’t get into that.

Segment City Episode 73 - The Pyrotechnics Guild International

Can you imagine what the Pyrotechnics Guild International’s meetings must be like? The food might be a bit burnt but the mid meeting entertainment is probably top notch! Plenty of interesting (if slightly singed) attendees! I wonder how many collective fingers they all are missing… This week on the podcast, Will and Theo review “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” and “Poltergeist”, what games they are playing including “Last of Us 2”, “Star Wars Squadrons”, “Crash Bandicoot 4”, “Apex Legends”, and others, Will offers some Career Advice on how to “Become a Licensed Pyrotechnician” using a guide found online, and the boys have a bracket tournament to see what is the Ultimate Thanksgiving Food!

Segment City Episode 72 - "To My Lusty Son..."

“To My Lusty Son, you’re nasty and you know it. You keep writing graffiti on the walls about your… exploits and now I will call you out in a similar fashion. You must get this from your nasty father.” This week on the podcast, the boys discuss peeing sitting down, if we would get a Pinocchio nose for a million dollars, the final installment of “Pompeii Graffiti!” in which the boys read some Roman graffiti about lusty sons, pooping in the same spot in public, and calculating a bar tab on a wall, Theo recounts the life of Adolf Sax the inventor of the Saxophone from his accident prone childhood to being snubbed for an award because he was too young to his sour luck ending him up in destitution, and the boys read Chapters 6 and 7 of the most infamous fanfiction: “My Immortal”!

Segment City Episode 71 - Vin Diesel: Simp Extraordinaire

We’re sorry Mr. Diesel, please don’t sue us. That being said, don’t put out a pop song about pining after ladies if you don’t want to be made fun of. This episode on the podcast, Will tries (and fails) to recount the plot of “Vampire Academy”, the boys talk about the worst dates they have been on, Theo asks “Is this the Onion?” about NASA making a 5G tower on the moon disguised as a pine tree, the word “bone” being censored at a paleontology conference, and Amazon disguising packages so people don’t know you order from Amazon, Theo and Will interview each other for mystery jobs in a fun improv game, Theo asks “What does this Rap Lyric Mean?” about the new song “Feel Like I Do” by everyone’s favorite Mr. Clean impersonator Vin Diesel, Will hosts “Conspiracy Query: Fan Theory Edition” about some popular movie fan theories.

Segment City Halloween Spooktacular 2020! (ft. Movie Monster Dodgeball)

Happy Halloween everyone! In this spooky episode of the podcast, Theo and Will talk about what Halloween costumes will be popular this year including dressing up as Covid, Tiger King, Among Us crewmates, etc., what scared us as child including scary Barney scenes, getting addicted to drugs, and running up the stairs at night, Will goes over some of the worst Goosebumps episodes (“My Hairiest Adventure” , “Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes”, “Stay Out of the Basement!”, “Strained Peas”, and “An Old Story”), and the boys draft dodgeball teams from a list of famous movie monsters! Which team do you think would win?